Mr. B. Ayo could not be any more correct in his analogy. There was an obstacle between myself and the rest of that four-set last Thursday, and he needed to be defused before I could properly engage the others. After my free beer/PBR opener, which was received well, the two girls in the set reengaged us with some questions. The Alpha of the group didn’t like where this was headed.
And can you blame him? Three guys having a good time encroaching on his territory.
A couple of mistakes in hindsight…the first thing Alpha is thinking is probably, who the F are these guys and how long are they going to be talking to us for? I feel like we made the mistake of sitting down. Had I wanted to open the group more successfully it probably should have been from a standing, weight shifted away from the set, position. Then from a standing position opened just by myself, one male is less threatening than three right?
“We came to the conclusion that the best way to deal with a group with a guy putting up a brick wall is to deal with him first, get him on your side.” – Mr. B. Ayo
“When trying to interact with a group possessing a strong “alpha male” you need to either put him down to show your own level of dominance, or you need to win him over. Personally for me, I’d rather win him over.” – Mr B. Ayo
I feel like you did a great job of self correcting here Ayo. I’m not sure that the sign of a true Alpha Male is that he puts other males down to assert his own dominance. Sure a guy may be acting as alpha male (lower case) of the set but that doesn’t necessarily mean he is exuding Alpha Male (upper case) characteristics.
So in wanting to exude Alpha Male characteristics, for example in this situation, I feel, like you, that winning someone over is best accomplished through positive energy.
What exactly are these Alpha Male characteristics? Confidence I imagine. Put-downs only put people on the defensive. They don’t make friends. We’ve got a lot to learn and a lot more to write about.
Tags: Alpha Male, Body Language, confidence, Dating, field report, Neta, North 45, Oregon, Portland, Self Improvement
